Filed under: Story
Once upon a time, in a far away suburb, lived a little woman with a big attitude. She spent her time reading voraciously most books that came her way, stooping to reading the backs of soup cans and spray cleaners in moments of desperation.
In school, she read all books assigned, searched dutifully for hidden meanings and allegories. She wrote essays and papers and reviews. But is wasn’t enough. Something was missing.
“All my library for a nasty book!” she was heard to exclaim as the neighbors reached for the phone and hit the speed dial that would connect them with the police.
It was OK. The little woman and the police were friends from way back.
But still she was not content.
The little woman didn’t care if a book had vampires or guns or tea pots or dragons. She just wanted to read more and more and more good books. And she wanted them to make her shiver.
She hadn’t shivered in a long time.
“Why don’t I make my own book of shivery, nasty stories?” she thought one day in a rare moment of clarity.
And that is what she set about doing.
Below, you will see her ongoing struggle on behalf of all people who like books that leave a mark when the reader is done with them.
She will tell of writers from near and far who write tales and tomes of evil men and cranky women, of innocent people fate throws into the wind and of cities and towns just like yours that harbor shadow people that smile as their gleaming knives swing down in the sun.
One day in November of 2007, there will be that shivery, nasty book and it will be called Expletive Deleted.
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I’m drooling with giddy anticipation at the thought of this anthology. That’s some line-up you’ve managed to get. Sadly, this little protestant boy who likes to say and write fuck but knows his mother reads his blog won’t be in this anthology. Sniff.
Comment by Bryon Quertermous January 10, 2006 @ 3:30 pmI plan on petitioning for a Fuck Noir II.
I mean, fuck.
I know noir. Hell, it’s in my fucking name.
Really. Fuck.
Comment by David Terrenoire January 10, 2006 @ 4:13 pmAs long as it helps get me some tail…
N (you know who I am…)
Comment by Anonymous January 10, 2006 @ 4:41 pmNana Mouskouri, that you?
Comment by Rayhttp://www.thesaturdayboy.co.uk January 10, 2006 @ 5:19 pmI’m offended – both by the excreble language of this blog, and Bryon’s drooling.
On a hyper-sensitive personal note, why did I find out about this site only through rumor and scuttlebut? Do I – in all my Idol glory – not deserve a personal notification?
Additionally, and with all due respect – Fuck!
Comment by Otis January 10, 2006 @ 5:24 pmHi Jen. I like the new site. Very cool!
Looking forward to the anthology, too.
Comment by John S.http://www.journalscape.com/jtschramm/ January 10, 2006 @ 5:59 pmOtis, how was I to know you were so fucking sensitive?
I had planned to do a grand unveiling after I got an author profile or two up but that was not to be.
And there will be a Fuck Noir II. Titles being bandied about:
Son of a Fuck
Comment by Jennifer Jordan January 10, 2006 @ 6:21 pmFuck 2007
Fucked Again
Jen, you are the fucking best. I fucking hereby withdraw my petty fucking whine – save for the part about Bryon’s fucking drool. Nice to know that if any dumb fuck Googles “fuck” hoping for their daily fuck porn, they’ll get this fucking site. This is genius fucking promotion.
(As if fucking needs promotion)
And the sequel:
Fuck Redux
Comment by Otis January 10, 2006 @ 6:44 pmJust what was a writer have to fucking do to get invited to these things?
Comment by Stephen D. Rogers January 10, 2006 @ 6:47 pmFuck Redux! Yes!
Most of the people in the anthology are people who’s work I read.
I said hey.
They said hey.
A story was born.
Ray Banks led me to Delphine Lecompte and I am very thankful that he did. I sought Charlie Huston out after reading CAUGHT STEALING. He is too fast and furious a writer to be denied. Not long into the project I realized a sequel was needed just because of the number of people who have something to say about fuck.
Amazing word, fuck. Quite inspirational.
Comment by Jennifer Jordan January 10, 2006 @ 7:01 pmWho do I have to fuck to get proper notification of things around here?
Comment by Tribe January 10, 2006 @ 9:01 pmSo where’s the fuckin publication information? You tease us up (I got here through Ray Banks, the fucker), then leave us hanging.
What the . . . you know?
Comment by Bill Peschel January 10, 2006 @ 10:47 pmTribe, you leave in the position of being able to choose someone you can fuck to get some information around here.
I pick N. I hear he’s looking for some tail.
Bill, as soon as I have solid idea of pub date, I’ll put it up. I’m shooting for October.
Comment by Jennifer Jordan January 10, 2006 @ 11:20 pmHmmm…I dunno…a noir Bareback Mountain? I mean…well, you know what I mean…
Comment by Tribe January 11, 2006 @ 12:19 amYou bring a (w)hole new meaning to in flagrante dilecto …. latin with a woody or not.
or A whole lotta fuck talk goin’ on ’round here!
Comment by R.J. Baker January 11, 2006 @ 3:21 amIsn’t that “delicto”?
What the fuck do I know. Only thing I can say in Latin is “I am the cook.”
Sum coquus.
Yee fucking ha.
Comment by Cornelia Read January 16, 2006 @ 7:44 amI shouted that exact phrase in a bar in Vatican City once.
Woke up in an alley behind St Peter’s Square with four missing teeth, a bleeding kidney and six used condoms.
Bloody hard-drinking bishops.
Comment by John R. January 16, 2006 @ 11:05 amYes! Yes! DIY, Jennifer Jordan, do that writing. I look forward to seeing something later. Take care!
Comment by just a man January 23, 2006 @ 2:46 pmhear’s my comment…erutuf kool ni eht llet em tahw u kniht?
Comment by FFlic January 25, 2006 @ 12:09 amA soothing latte or a piece of juicy steak?
I’d rather devour a piece of juicy steak. Never mind savoring the flavor.
Comment by Anonymous April 18, 2006 @ 12:06 am